As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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