the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
