Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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