Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Randomize