he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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