Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
