Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
