I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
