I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize