She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize