My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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