I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize