So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
