It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I need a burrito and a hug.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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