I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
