I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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