i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
