can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
The adults are the big ones right?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
