Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
