Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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