i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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