What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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