the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
