Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."