I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
