its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
