walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
