I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
