i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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