I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
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Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
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I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
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