I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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