I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
