You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
