I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
if only i could text you this smell
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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