Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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