Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize