I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
