I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
