this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
