Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
