my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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