Kiss
Puke
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
