He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
