I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
