I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
