splinters make it hard to masturbate
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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