I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize