wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
