i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
