I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
