We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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