she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
