That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
