how can u be prego again
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You were trust falling into bushes
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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