i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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