the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
