Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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