Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
