The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
