Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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